SWEAT
I wake up at 4am
Running down the stairs
Like a lamborghini
Ready to lace em up
Its 90 degrees outside and nobody's out
i m by myself with cones and a ball
I shoot 1 million shots and make 8 It's to hot
I can't make any shots I'm somnolent
Excuses upon excuses upon
You guessed it excuses upon excuses
until i want to go in
But i get up place the cones
and all you hear is
Clank brick click clang until i get it right
I'm feeling like i'm in a Fight
I feel tons of sweat dripping down
My face
I'm about to fall because
Right now i can't play basketball
You can see the the clouds getting dimed
In front of the sun
Its starting to get late The ball is fire
Because i can't seem to get it right
I lay back and think of the clouds
I'm sweating like a pool Or a lake
I don't know what to think
Of except for being asleep
Its hot and im about to fold
I lay down and swim backstroke
In the
pool of sweat that came dripping down my face
I get back up soaked from swimming and
Continue to play
As i dribble i feel lighting through my hands
I felt the melt on the basketball
That's when i knew it was time to stall
I went from chicago to canada in the
Blink of an eye i was gone
Thinking of nothing but getting Around and
Stalling all across america
I get dry with no sweat as i
Get across america with no problem
Meeting the flash and he can't even
Catch up i feel the wind
Against my face as i have the ball
In my hands
As i lay back and see
The pool of sweat from earlier
I come back down from
Canada and replace the cones
I get back up and all of a sudden
Like the tortoise and the hair
I feel great
The basketball dribbles back
On the black court
I'm hitting every shot i take
I feel like im great
Its great until i want
To go inside so i have to stall
again.
I really like the concept and how you personified the ball and how you compared you running to the flash
ReplyDeleteI like how your poem was a summary of the entire day, I think it was cool with the language that you used.
ReplyDeleteGreat Job!
nice job! i liked how the whole thing flowed together and was one poem and didn't sound choppy. great job again.
ReplyDeleteI really like how you said "Its hot and im about to fold
ReplyDeleteI lay down and swim backstroke, In the pool of sweat that came dripping down my face, I get back up soaked from swimming and Continue to play". It showed how hard you work.
Good Job!
i liked how in the beginning of the poem you were saying how you couldnt make no shots but then you got in the pool to cool off then towards the end you were making all the shots and you were on fire again.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you told us about certain moments that you go through in the process of doing something you love although there not all good moments.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you talked about the struggles of basketball. It can be really hard sometimes. It's well written.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you showed the struggles of basketball. This was a very positive poem. Good Job!
ReplyDeletegood job Momodou i knew you liked basketball but i honestly didn't know you played out side of school good way of expressing the obstacles you go through while you play and the more work you do then other people i really liked it.
ReplyDeletei liked how you showed a side of you i have never seen and how you expressed your feelings. - julienne
ReplyDeleteGiorgina- I like how your poem was creative
ReplyDeleteDarryl- I liked your flow
ReplyDeleteI liked how your poem had lots of figurative language in it as well as explaining kind of what you do in everyday life
ReplyDeletei like the amount of reptition you used because it reminds the reader of you idea of sweat and how you contiune to be motivated to keep moving even when you drowning in your own sweat deep cool and great poem
ReplyDelete