I dwell in the home inside me
Enlightened by my soul
The pain that’s hidden in my closet
May spook and crush my body
The emotions to the past are simmering
But Iḿ trying to brew the boiling water inside of me
I dwell in my home when i close my eyes
and dream about what i want in life
just memory's from the foam
I dwell in my home when i forget about
The reality and just zone out for a minute
I dwell in my home when i forget
About The bad in life and focus on the
good
When i'm with my family and when i'm with
my friends I dwell in my home because I'm
able to be myself Or i’m chilling with the nurses and playing bingo on tuesdays they make me feel at home Or even when i'm playing the piano
and singing like i'm at a concert with four extra
little hands banging on the piano
Either way i don't have to be at home to be
at home because home
makes me who i am and
It dwells in a place inside of me
i like how sh keep saying dwelling at home
ReplyDelete... and what else
Deletei liked how she said he home is inside her. Not somewhere she lives. It's very nice and i love how she's open to talk about things that happen/happened in her life.
ReplyDeleteDeijah i like how you made yours different from everyone else you didnt say your home was a place you said your home is inside of you and in side of others (the nurses playing bingo)
ReplyDeleteThis was a really deep poem and I really like it because your home wasn't a structure we can see, it's in your body where only you can see,like your memories and stuff like that.
ReplyDeleteYASSSS GIRL!
ReplyDeleteThis was different from anyone else's. You talked about the home in yourself which is a very powerful and bold move. It is on different level than anyone else's which really hows what type of poem writer you are.
Its on a*
Deletethank you $$$
DeleteWhat was different from everyone else's?
DeleteI liked how you said you dont have to have a home because home makes you who you are.
ReplyDeleteI like how you described home as yourself and the characteristics you have. Also you made it clear that home doesn't have to be a physical place it can be anything that is important to you or home can be how you show yourself of to people.
ReplyDeleteI love how you didn't focus on what particular thing that you do/ love, you used all of the aspects of your life to create a home. Wherever you go, home is always with you.
ReplyDeleteTruly great!
I thought you did a great job putting several places as your home. I also thought you did a good job not just mentioning the good but also the bad. But best of all you did a great job saying how your home is who you are, and what you make of life.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed how you kept the message that you were trying to send through your poem consistent within not only the first line but the others as well.
ReplyDeleteYESSSSSSS ! That was so good Daijah and I can just tell from the from sentence that this was going to be a good poem. The figurative language was good like when you said "But I'm trying to brew the boiling water inside of me". I can understand how you feel and it's so unique and that's you.
ReplyDeleteI like how you repeat the word dwell because it's saying that this is a place where I eat, sleep, play, and etc.
ReplyDeleteI like how you were very detailed all the way down to the day and what exactly you were doing when you said "I’m chilling with the nurses and playing bingo on Tuesdays"
ReplyDeletei like how she said "Either way i don't have to be home to be at home" i like that because home is supposed to be inside you even when you wasn't home.
ReplyDeletei liked how you shared where all your home are and how you did not show just one homes and it was unique from everyone poem
ReplyDeletei like how you were trying to tell us that your home is not really your home and that home is really a place were you feel comfortable. Also i liked how you gave examples of when you feel at home and a place that you call home
ReplyDeleteCaleb Saulsberry; I liked how you used other things that made it feel like home instead of actual things in the house. I like your strong use of vocabulary. I also liked that even though there may be bad times but appreciate the good things and not worry about the bad things. I also like the fact how your home makes you who you are as a person.
ReplyDeleteYou are so strong Daijah, and I'm not sure how many young people could've gone through what you experienced with your health and still manage to keep a smile on their face (and a purse full of candy).
ReplyDeleteI appreciate and respect you so much for your ability to have developed a sense of home on the go. No matter where you are, you find ways to share your light with others... the line about playing bingo with the nurses is proof of that.
Your poem does a great job of showing how complex these notions and ideas of home can be...thank you for sharing!
I like how you used repetition of the word "dwells." I like also like this poem because you were able to convert your regular home into all of these great features.
ReplyDeleteYou kilt that boo!!!
ReplyDeleteYou read nice and smooth which was capturing to the audience. I like the repetition of "dwell". It emphasizes the meaning in the poem. This is a powerful poem because you don't focus on one thing you put pieces of your life that come together very nice.
i liked how you poem was very original and you kept referring to yourself. "It dwells in a place inside of me.... great poem
ReplyDelete